Are You Grateful?

Are You Grateful?

“ An increasing number of thinkers are beginning to suggest that almost all disorders are psychosomatic-that the psyche is somehow involved in the causation of the various failures that occur in the resistance system. But the amazing thing is not these failures of the resistance system; it is that the resistance system works as well as it does. In the ordinary course of things we should be eaten alive by bacteria, consumed by cancer, clogged up by fats and clots, eroded by acids. It is hardly remarkable that we sicken and die; what is truly remarkable is that we don’t usually sicken very often and we don’t die very quickly. We can therefore say the same thing about physical disorders that we said about mental disorders: There is a force, the mechanism of which we do not fully understand, that seems to operate routinely in most people to protect and encourage their physical health even under the most adverse conditions.”

-M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled        

The world is a strange place right now with all the fear and chaos associated to Coronavirus. But I have just one question. Do you think when things settle down, they’ll leave the plexiglass barriers up at the till in the grocery store? I mean, is this a permanent thing now? I have contemplated this question for a few seconds, but that discussion is for another day…

Here’s what I really want to talk about:

If your perceived world is crumbling around you, and you can’t seem to find one thing to be grateful for, start with the fact that you’re even alive today. Winning the lottery is not a miracle, the fact that you’re not dead because of the countless number of deadly things that you are exposed to every day, and have been exposed to for the entire duration of your life, that is a fucking miracle!

The quote that I reference at the top of this article effectively describes our innate resistance to things like disease and bacteria, but he goes on later in that chapter to discuss our resistance to accidents in a similar context.

I grew up in the city. I’ve crossed busy streets thousands of times, but never been hit by a car. In my 35 years, I’m sure I’ve had hundreds of friends come and go from my life, and most of them have probably crossed similar streets a comparable amount of times. Yet I’ve never personally known anyone who has died from being hit by a car. In fact, I don’t personally know anyone who’s been injured from being hit by a car. When I was in Junior high school, I Knew a kid who’s little brother was struck and killed in a poorly marked crosswalk, and one of my best friends in elementary school was involved in a very low speed collision on his bicycle with a car coming out of an alley. We laughed and carried on, it was nobody’s fault, or everybody’s fault, and we knew that.

I should be dead, but I’m not. You should be dead, but you’re not.

The odds are in our favor.

If you’re reading this, then that means you are alive, so take a few moments to rewind the film of your life and reflect on all the times that you could have, should have died. Do it with a wide gaze though, start with the idea that every time you have ever crossed a street, you could have been killed by one daydreaming driver that just found out his wife has been cheating on him. But that didn’t happen. Instead, he saw you and stopped, and your life was spared.

There are a lot of other things that should have killed you but didn’t, so I’ll say it again. The fact that you are alive is a fucking miracle!

Now with that out of the way, maybe it might make it a little easier to find some small things to be grateful for.

I don’t know when I’m going to go back to work. I’m worried that the money will run out. These are legitimate concerns. But I also know that because I’m not working, I’m doing a lot more hiking. And every time I look down at my feet, I see the hiking boots that I bought a couple of months ago with money that was generously gifted to me last year by my in-laws, which I saved, until I could think of something I really wanted to use it for. My feet sure are comfortable, that’s something I’m incredibly grateful for. It’s a small thing, just a pair of boots, but they bring me a lot of pleasure by keeping me dry and comfortable.

I’m very frustrated this week about some things. I’m frustrated about this blog. We’re living in our trailer this month at a bible camp that only has internet in some of the outbuildings, and no cell signal. I feel isolated from the world. This is very inconvenient for me for several reasons. But I’m grateful that I have electricity, and a computer that works well. I’m writing offline, later I’ll walk somewhere where I can get wifi, and I’ll copy and paste the hell out of this thing and get what I want to say out there, because I think it’s important, and I hope it helps someone change their perception.

But walking to get internet in an otherwise connected world is inconvenient for me, and that’s the reality I’ve decided on…

This gratitude thing, it doesn’t come easy for me. I’ve read many books and articles about it but training my brain to always search for the good has been a struggle, I have a long history of being great at drowning myself in my own self pity. I’ll tell you about that sometime too.

Here’s what I know. If you keep searching for all the things that aren’t going right in your life right now, you’ll find all those things. But if you keep searching for all the things that are going right for you, you’ll find all those things too. You’ll gain traction every time you find another good thing, like attracts like. So why not try attracting more of what you like?

Need a reminder to be grateful? Here’s what I do:

Program three new events into the calendar on your cellphone and call them all “Gratitude.” Set the times for breakfast lunch and dinner, or whatever three times work for you spread evenly throughout the waking hours of your day. Set these events to repeat every day no matter what, and make sure there’s an audible reminder of them when they are triggered. Now, no matter what you are doing, or how your day is unfolding, you will be triggered to pause and search for what is good in that moment.

You don’t need to make it a big task every time the chime goes, just look for what’s obvious at that moment and be grateful for it. Being grateful doesn’t always require deep introspection, it only requires awareness of the present moment.

You’re walking in the rain right now and it’s cold, but you remembered your rain jacket. Gratitude.

Your boyfriend dumped you, but you’re sipping hot coffee out of your favorite cup right now. Gratitude.

You’re breathing right now because trees make oxygen. Gratitude.

Set the reminder in your phone, it’s going to make your life better, guaranteed.